01/03/2025 - LT. Schtaj
warning: this ones a long one
This dream felt more peaceful/restful than many dreams I’ve had before this point, despite its amount of detail. It was weird because it was like my perception of memory was altered, because in this dream, I had memories of seeing a youtuber that I watch frequently in passing multiple times in my city over the course of months. I also lived in OKC in this dream and walked everywhere. I remember distantly thinking how much I prefer living there because it was nice that everything was so close together.
Anyways, I was dining at a sort of lunch/bar place in their outdoor seating with some dude I didn’t know (or at least didn’t know well), but in the middle of our conversation, I saw that youtuber walk towards us, trying to get into the restaurant. I think he noticed that I recognized him because he was staring at me too, as he passed I asked if he was (insert youtube channel name). As he turned around, he looked resigned and walked over to sit at our table - which I privately thought was odd because we didn’t invite him, but he sat down like we were forcing him to sit there.
We struck up some conversation about nothing - I don’t really remember, but I remember I asked why I’ve seen him so much in OKC, and he told me he lived here and his living in Texas was just a cover. We all drank a lot through this conversation, and the acquaintance said he had to go soon and left. I wanted to go out and get his number so that we could hang out again, so I told the youtuber to wait there while I got his number. I ran outside and spoke to the fellow and he said that he wasn’t looking for new friends or something. I remember being disappointed because I didn’t have any friends in the city and was often lonely.
I went back into the restaurant, and the youtuber was very jealous looking because I left him there to run after the other guy. We bought more food and apps and kept on talking. Then out of nowhere, he confesses his undying love to me – in a very cringe manner (this is probably because I’m reading a lot of Arthurian legends, and everyone makes these grand gestures when irl it would be very cringe). I look at him funny and say that that I’m a lesbian, and I’m really just looking for friends in the city. I told him there was no hard feelings, and asked if he would want to hang out as friends at a later date. He thought about it for a bit, then he just paid the entire bill we accrued (which was a lot when I looked at it – I knew I didn’t have that much money) and said we could continue hanging out for now.
We went to a shopping district that looked a lot like if London and Guthrie had a baby – I was unfamiliar with this part of town. I always like to walk around when I’m drunk because it feels funny to be slightly off balance and it makes me perceive the world slightly differently than I usually do. That is to say: I was having a good time. There was a mossy fountain in the center and all the people there were very shifty, looking like they were both rich and wanted to pick my pocket. The youtuber was looking annoyed (? Idk) and told me to wait there while he ran into the store really quick. He went into the biggest one with lots of fancy clothes and large opaque-ish windows. I sat by the fountain for a bit and looked around. A couple of minutes later he came out of the store’s side door in different clothes and snuck away like he wanted to avoid me.
I remember thinking that there was no need for that, because it wasn’t like I was holding him hostage. I shook my head and walked away from the fountain, but not before turning around and flicking a coin in. I remember the people around me all watched me put my hand in my pocket and heard that I had quite a bit of change on me. It was an uneasy feeling. I don’t know what I was wishing for.
PSYCHOANALYSE THAT, LIBERALS!
11/30/24 - Dippy egg pizza
You know how some cooking shows start with a demonstration by the judge on a particularly difficult skill that the contestants will need to do? In my dream I had a judge tell me about how we were making a breakfast pizza with a runny egg. The way to make this pizza is at the last possible second before serving, you lift up the cheese on the edge of the crust and crack and egg where the sauce would be. Then place the cheese back down and serve. By the time you eat that part of the slice, the egg should have cooked to perfect dippy perfection.
Those who know me know that I am a hater of the dippy eggs. They gross me out because they’re vectors for the salmonella and other stomach bugs. Every single time I made this pizza in this dream, the pizza wasn’t hot enough for the eggs to cook even a little bit. Like the pizza was still frozen and hard when I peeled back the cheese. *sigh*
There was also an interluding part of this dream where I was taking a flight to London and kept forgetting to bring the stuff I packed. For some reason I kept waking up when the plane was boarding and looking down at my watch – only to realize I forgot it… and all my clothes… and all my money… and my passport. Then I would wake up really stressed. Then I would go back to sleep back to my pizza dream.
- 11/03/24 
uruk-hai tattoo -
I dreamt that I was at the Cinderella castle at Disneyland - and the only person inside was the beast (from beauty and the beast, obviously). He offered to give ne a tattoo for cheap, so I accepted and followed him into the side room where he gave me a tattoo. I believe that the design was my idea – and I thought it was really cool at the time: all completely black, there were two handprints on my scapula like the Uruk-hai from LOTR, and both of my shoulders and arms were completely black. The black went down my sides and ended around the small of my back (in a pattern that looked very gross, like pubes or something) the pattern was a keyhole effect like an open back dress… kind-of tattoo.
I left the castle very satisfied, and the next day I went to work only to immediately be made fun of by my coworkers. Only then did I realize that I picked out a really ugly design. The full black arms I was regretting the most – along with my tramp stamp pattern. And at this point of the dream, I “woke up” and was relieved that it was only a dream… only to look down at my arms and see they were still tattooed. I freaked out and went to a shop to get them removed, and the best they could do was cover up the tramp stamp with another tattoo – which I accepted. It was a tattoo of the colorful thanksgiving kind of corn in a red vase. Then I woke up for real and the first thing I did was look at my arms.